I wonder if I'm a loner?
I don't think I understand the definition fully because my dictionary is the urban dictionary. But some of them really hits the mark, but then again, totally missed some. Maybe I have split personality and one of it is a loner?
I don't speak much with strangers because I don't think sharing information with a just-met-person agreeable. This might peg me as an introvert but there are times where I talk a lot in my group of friends. After that, I will think back and couldn't believe that I could talk that much.
Once, me and my friends chat about personality and eventually it's about me.
They said that on the outside, I look like I'm very guarded and hard to approach. And that I'm cold, HA~!
To add in points, no long after we played some animal personality quiz from the newspaper and guess what represent me?
Tiger? No.
Bear? No.
Shark? No.
It's snake, a cold-blooded reptile.
Perhaps I'm cold after all.
It didn't help that I'm stuck with a super street-smart social girl at school.
She overshadows me and nobody knows who I am other than [name]'s friend.
Lol, I didn't even get invited to my own name-changing party.
Besides being a loner, I'm also weird.
Common sense is not for me to possess.
Heck, I know my mother is a women and father a man but that is as far as my not-so-common-sense goes.
That's why I scored so damm low in my composition papers.
Hey, I'm good in language and so, but it's always composition which drags me down.
I think I'm creative but I guess I just couldn't figure out why social issues happened at school and how to handle/prevent it. *shrugged*
Sometimes I think my ideas are really good, creative you can call but when the others heard about it, they'll just smile and shrugged it off with the thought
"What kind of freaking idea is that?!" in their mind.
I know, their looks never changes... it's always the tight smile while the brain try to figure a way out from me
Recently, I kind of reached my limits because I'm stationed with the girl mentioned earlier (the super street smart social girl) and I'm kind of squished/cramped or whatever you called it whenever she gets along with the other and I don't.
I actually don't mind but I don't like how it looks on me. I don't like pity and I don't want anyone to think that I'm lonely.
I like to be alone, mind you.
But in this country, society controls how everything goes.
If the society thinks that being a loner is weird, then I'm weird.
I looked like a Grim Reaper while the girl looked like the bloody blonde in Legally Blonde. It's the black hairs that hold her back from being in that shoe.
Hey, it's not my fault that I love black, white and grey.
But in this country, it's my fault.
My friend pegged me as an Emo, and nobody cares what I write.
Not even when I'm declaring my suicide attempt.
Not that I have the gut to do it but if I can get my hand on a painless, quick death, I'll gladly embrace it. (provided it's free)
