[myself] I want to kill myself

I want to kill myself….
But I never have the guts to do it, I hate pain…
A few painless suicide way cross my mind a few times and I wonder if I should do it too…
For example, downing pills (a well-known method – success rate 50%) I think to succeed, must take a lot of pills =O
Another way that I thought is painless is to down poison but before I manage to die, it will be excruciating pains in the stomach and mouth….
Apparently, there is no easy way….

People say they don’t know why some people attempted suicide or even entertained the thoughts of suicide, that’s because you are lucky enough to avoid contact from both Depression and Stress…
Anyway, I don’t think my life is worth living…
I hate it…
I hate my studies…
I hate my-would-be job…
I hate this world…
I hate everything…

People avoid me because I’m weird and freakish…
My friend calls me emo… maybe I am emo, but then again it’s not illegal so who cares…
It will be great if ending my life is as easy as clicking the button [Disconnect].
If anyone can come up with a painless way to suicide, he/she most probably win a Nobel prize because many people will be queuing to get it….

I want to kill myself…
I google up ‘suicide’ and found many ‘inspirational’ message or whatever…
It’s no use for me, I think…
I hate it when nobody listens to what I say…
I hate it when people come and start giving advices – Hey, advices are cheap, I get it free online so stop preaching here, yeah?
I hate it that I’m emo…
I hate the fact that I’m here…
I hate myself for feeling lonely…
I hate everything…
I hate spammer for their thoughtless actions…
I hate smokers for their stupid hobbies…
I hate open-burners for their idiotic rubbish burning
I hate the fact that I never get the answer I want when I ask question
I hate the brainless lecturer who sucked at teaching
I hate the stupid shoplot university I’m studying…
I hate the place I’m living in…
I hate that I can’t voice my opinion freely because I’m afraid I’ll get sent to ISA
I hate you (if you plan to spam my blog with the comment – You’re an idiot)

[News] Xiah Junsu, Hero Jaejoong and Michy Yoochun, members of TVXQ/DBSK, will form a new unit!

The 3 have signed an exclusive management contract with Avex Management, and will soon begin activities. They will perform at the Dome as a new unit this year in June.

More details here :

JUNSU/JAEJOONG/YOOCHUN THANKSGIVING LIVE IN DOME

-June 5th (Saturday)　Venue opens: 16:00/ Performance begins: 18:00
Kyocera Dome, Osaka

-June 6th (Sunday)　Venue opens: 14:00/ Performance begins: 16:00
Kyocera Dome, Osaka

-June 12th (Saturday)　Venue opens: 16:00/ Performance begins: 18:00
Tokyo Dome

-June 13th (Sunday)　Venue opens: 16:00/ Performance begins: 18:00
Tokyo Dome


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Credit: jpopasia
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Form new unit?!
Form your bleeding head, my God!
I love TVXQ, DBSK or whatever name they use but surely not a group where it's not 5! 5-1=0 / 5+1=0, so why 5-2= success?

[myself] Listening to some music...

I was listening to the radio online when suddenly some part of the lyric of a song catch my attention.

An empty room can be so deafening,
The silence makes you wanna scream,
It drives you crazy.

It's kind of something I thought of before.
And I like how the words are used to make meanings~

The song is 'I can't hate you anymore by Nick Lachey' Click HERE for the lyric!

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Picture credit: Google

[review] Immortality Bites by Michelle Rowen

I'm kind of surprised that there is vampire novels that will let me down.
Actually, there are a few but the interest never stick around long enough to get the titles in.

For this one, I actually stick around and read until book 2 but I guess my patience runs out. Too bad for this one, I've just finished reading Jeaniene Frost's Night Huntress Series. So, comparisons are inevitable. This novel series by Michelle Rowen, sad to say, pale in comparison to J.Frost's series.

When I read vampire novels, I read about their strength, weakness, what they can do and what they can't. For Bitten and Smitten, I'm not sure what the whole thing is about. Well, there are vampire-hunters and vampires but the whole thing....uh, how to say?
Action? - Average
Romance? - Uh, average?
Vampirism? - Other than drinking blood and having fangs, they are all humans alike.

I didn't get to read further than a few chapters off book 2 but I'm sure the later ones are better than the first book (otherwise, M.Rowen won't release it). So, for those who like this series, please don't bash/spam me yeah, I'm just speaking what I'm thinking in MY blog.

I give this a 2 out of 5...

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[myself] Me, my opinion and I, not you...so stay back! *growls*

I just read about some recent news of TVXQ and I’m not very happy with it.
ScrewSME!
There are many speculations that TVXQ will disband… *sigh*
Seriously, why is this happening?
I know, ‘Keep the Faith’~~
But faith can’t fill up the stomach…

I don’t want them to split up.
I don’t want them to sing Japanese song (if I want a Japanese singer, I’ll look in Japan)
I don’t want them to become actors (if I want to idolize actors, I will know where to search)
I want TVXQ to come back!
I want TVXQ’s Korean songs!
I want TVXQ as singer!
….
….
….
*sigh* But this is not happening now….

My logic tells me that they are doing stuff like this because they are humans.
They need to eat
They need money
They need new experience

I really hate logics.
Isn’t that great if stuff could just go my way?
Then there will be no war… =O

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Picture credit: onlyone-uknow

[MV teaser] J.Rich | Goodbye My Love (ft. TVXQ's Yunho)

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Yunho oppa, I miss you so much T^T
So much that I want to cry....

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[News] With TVXQ's break, Avex Entertainment lose millions of dollars

Last saturday, AVEX announced on their official website that TVXQ/Tohoshinki will be halting their activities as a group. However the members will pursue their solo activities.

Matsuura Katsuhito, president of AVEX Group Holdings Inc., has revealed his shock at the news on his Twitter, saying, "You have no idea how big a hit AVEX has taken. It is hard for me to talk about this because I have to consider the standpoint of Korean agency SM Entertainment, but I will try to make [TVXQ] remain for [the group's] Japanese fan club 'bigeast'."

The Japanese entertainment site Zakzak (www.zakzak.co.jp) quoted Tomisawa Issei (Japanese music critic) who said: "TVXQ's break from their musical activities will result in sales losses for Japanese management agency AVEX worth from as little as 3 billion yen (31.9 million dollars) to as much as 5 billion yen (53.2 million dollars)."

Read more: http://www.kome-world.com/us/news-9760-with-tvxq-s-break-avex-entertainment-lose-millions-of-dollars-.html#ixzz0kYrQ0N7u

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Credit: kome-world.com
Source: Asiae
Picture credit: google.com + sharingyoochun
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Well, damn yeah you guys are losing money!
Do something then!!
(I'm just blaming others so I feel better... .>.>)

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[myself] A Poem: 'Listen' by Author Unknown

When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving advice,
you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I asked was that you listen.
Not to talk or do-just hear me.
Advice is cheap. Ten cents will get you both Dear Abby and
Bill Graham in the same newspaper.
And I can do for myself. I'm not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But, when you accept as a single fact that I do feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince
you and get to the business of understanding what's
behind this irrational feeling.
And when that's clear, the answers are obvious
and I don't need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand
what's behind them.

So, please listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk,
wait a minute for your turn;
and I'll listen to you.

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Picture credit: Google.com

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[myself] When there's a need to eat...

I have to eat snacks whenever I get upset >.<
This is so sad....

Today I'm sad,
Today I'm frustrated,
I want to eat,
I saw McDonald,
McFlurry,
That's all I need...